Let Me Check My Schedule

So a lot of activity happening in the next few weeks. City of Angels closes today after a very good run. Only eight performances, but they were done over four weeks so it seems like this show has been going for a while. Auditions for Sherlock Holmes' Excellent Adventure are this Monday and then on Wednesday, I have to fly across the country for my work to give a training. Too, some theatre friends of mine have asked me to join them in a benefit performance later in September so there will be a few rehearsals for that, too.

Of course, it's always nice to be wanted and as the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. But, trying to do it all can be tiring. Of course, I don't have any part in Sherlock Holmes yet. While the director did ask me to audition, you don't actually have the role until you have the script in your hand.

Work has stepped up the number of trainings they wish to provide which means more office travel. I've been lucky with some of the training sessions work has asked me to do. I've been able to visit Alaska, Hawaii, Germany, and Japan. As an Air Force brat, I do like to be able to see the rest of the world. I hope I'll be able to keep up my acting habit as well as travel.

Of course, City of Angels was a bit of a scheduling issue, too. Two other directors were asking me to audition for them: A production of You Can't Take It With You and a production of See How They Run. I had done YCTIWY a few years back and wasn't sure I wanted to do it again and while I love working with the director of SHTR, I really wanted to do CoA. I'm a big fan of the Manhattan Transfer and the arranger of CoA was their arranger (which is why the Angel City 4 sounds so much like them). I count myself fortunate to not only have made it into the cast but also to be playing Stine. It was a good run.

Decisions, Decisions

One of the things I do in my spare time is play role-playing games with some old college buddies. Traveller, GURPS, Call of Cthulhu, RuneQuest, Dungeons & Dragons, we wander around the various games to see what's interesting. We'll even mix rules systems for other campaign settings. We have played RuneQuest and Traveller using Castle Falkenstein rules. Currently, we're in a D&D 4th Edition campaign. I'm playing a Cleric who is half-human, half-werewolf named "Xale" (ZAH-lay). He has not inherited any shapechanging abilities (that he knows of). His backstory is that his mother was a werewolf, his father was a human, they fell in love, and Xale was raised in a human village. Only a few people knew of her origins.

One day, raiders came to the village and in the process of defending his home, Xale accidentally set a fire that killed his mother. Wracked with guilt, he turned himself over to Selûne (we're playing in the Forgotton Realms milieu) and was invested as a priest with the admonition to go to the various good werewolf clans to seek their judgement. He has joined up with some others and is engaging in do-good activities while he wanders to seek the other clans.

As is typical for our Dungeon Master, the game is filled with bad choices: Currently, we have cleared out an evil temple of its minions and now need to go after the guy who was trying to break down the walls between the worlds and cause bad things. Because we just cleaned out the temple and the bad guy wasn't there, we have the advantage of surprise. If we don't track him down and deal with him right now, he will soon find out that something is up and react accordingly.

Of course, the DM has also decided that the leader of one of the werewolf clans happens to be nearby and Xale has to choose: Fulfill the first step of his quest and possibly be commanded to perform a service that might take some time or go after the bad guy while we are on a roll. My current thought is that Xale should meet with the clan leader now since fighting the bad guy may take a few days and the leader may be gone by the time we got back. I would hope that the clan leader would understand that a completed quest won't be of much good if the world is ending. I certainly don't expect him to come along to help (that would be too much of a good thing and we've already got five characters in the party as it is, one an NPC for the DM to control), and Xale does have a fair amount of Diplomacy so he might be able to make his case: I'm here, I need to talk to you, but I really need to do this one thing right now and when I come back, I am yours to command.

But City of Angels closes this weekend so the big decision will have to be put off for a couple weeks.

Watching Paint Dry

Well, now I know exactly what that's like.

It seems the home owner's association for my condo complex has decided to paint the doors (both front and garage) of all the units. Now, they have made a point (as HOA's often do) of letting the tenants know that this is really our responsibility and shame on us for not doing this ourselves over the past dozen years and how it is only out of the goodness of their hearts that they are doing this JUST THIS ONCE. But, should it be me who did it myself or they who did it, what it means is that the front door and the garage door needed to be left open so that the contractors could paint them and let them dry. And thus, to allow them access to my place and then make sure that while the doors were left open nobody walked into my place and helped themselves to my belongings, that means I got to spend my day off at home.

Literally watching paint dry.

Honesty Isn't Always a Virtue

I recently did a production of Betrayal, and there was a lot of work regarding character. For those who don't know, Betrayal is a work by Harold Pinter telling the story of a woman who has an affair with her husband's best friend. The play is presented backwards, starting two years after the affair is over and going back in time so that the final scene is the one where the affair begins. Thus, interactions between the characters are presented and only later do you find the instigating circumstances that led up to it. Robert and Emma are the married couple, Jerry is the friend. Robert is a book publisher and Jerry is a literary agent. They have known each other since college.

As it turns out, Robert finds out about the affair from Emma but does not tell Jerry that he knows. Too, Emma does not tell Jerry, either, until after the affair is over. The first set of scenes has Emma and Jerry meeting for a drink two years after the affair is over. Emma tells Jerry that she and Robert had a fight and she told Robert everything about the affair. They are getting divorced. Jerry, in shock, immediately calls Robert to talk to him, ostensibly to ask forgiveness, only to be shocked yet again when Robert tells him that he has known for years but never said anything.

We then go back in time to see the end of the affair, Emma and Jerry realizing that they simply can't find time for each other and deciding to shut down the flat they have been using for their trysts. The next scene is of Jerry over for a drink. He and Robert exchange some pleasantries when Emma joins them. Robert complains that he and Jerry never play squash anymore and when Jerry finally agrees to a game, Emma pipes up to ask if she can join to watch. Robert then launches into an ostensible tirade about how, "We wouldn't actually want a woman around, would we, Jerry?" With tension in the air, Jerry says that he'll be hard-pressed to find time as he is off traveling for business. It isn't directly stated, but it is clear that Emma is frustrated that Jerry no longer has time for her. The affair is over. After Robert escorts Jerry out, he returns to his wife and they share a kiss, but Emma breaks down crying.

In the next scene, Robert and Emma are in Venice, Italy on vacation. In a highly oblique way, Robert tells Emma about going into the American Express office and being offered a letter that was delivered for Emma from Jerry. With a great deal of beating around the bush, he finally cajoles Emma into admitting that she is having an affair with Jerry. Robert says he had no idea up until this letter. The affair has been going on for five years.

When they return from Italy, Emma and Jerry meet in their flat and they talk about Emma's holiday. Emma does not tell Jerry that Robert has found out, though she does press him about when Jerry and Robert may meet again as they often have lunch together. Jerry then does have lunch with Robert, who gets stinking drunk. They discuss Robert's holiday and Robert gives a miserable speech about how he feels he's sold out as a literary editor, ranting on about how Jerry and Emma have that in common: "You love modern prose literature. I mean you love the new novel by the new Casey or Spinks. It gives you both a thrill." The speech leads to what should be a climax of Robert saying that he knows, but he instead backs down, saying that he and Emma are very good together, that he values Jerry's friendship, and that Jerry should come over sometime as Emma "would love to see you."

It is a few years earlier and Emma and Jerry are establishing their flat. Emma has a revelation: She is pregnant. From the earlier scene in Venice we know that it is Robert's.

The final scene is a party at Robert's. Emma has gone to the bedroom to freshen up only to find a drunken Jerry in there, waiting for her. He woos her with passionate words which Emma seems to deflect off but it is getting to her. Robert comes in just as they kiss but sees nothing. Jerry sings the praises of Emma's beauty to Robert, who praises Jerry's friendship, in turn. Robert leaves and Emma follows, but Jerry takes hold of her hand. The affair has begun.

Now, the title of the play is Betrayal and everybody is betraying something here. Clearly Emma and Jerry are betraying their respective relationships to Robert, but what exactly is Robert betraying? And just as importantly, if not more so, why would Robert not say anything when he finds out?

My interpretation of Robert is that he truly did not know. His speech during lunch about how he has compromised his principles is indicative of why he doesn't say. He has worked hard to build what he thought would be the perfect life: He works in the world of books, which was his passion. He has a loving wife, children, a home. He has the best friend in the world.

And none of it is real.

All of it is a facade. Yes, he is a book publisher, but he doesn't like any of the books he publishes. He has become a purveyor of popular pulp when his first love is poetry. And his wife and best friend are sneaking around behind his back. Everything that he anchored his life around is nothing more than a façade, all surface and no depth. So, he decides not to break it. He will maintain the fiction of his life so that he can keep it.

In the first scene, when Emma is telling Jerry that she has told Robert everything and that they are getting divorced, she mentions that Robert says he's been having affairs. This leads to the question of the lies these people tell each other. My personal feeling is that actually, Robert never lies throughout the entire show. The actual statement of Emma's is, "You know what I found out...last night? He's betrayed me for years. He's had...other women for years." But given the elliptical way Robert speaks throughout the play, I think all Robert has actually said is that he has betrayed Emma and she has taken that to mean he has had affairs, too. When Robert and Jerry meet right after that scene, Jerry brings it up:

Jerry: But you betrayed her for years, didn't you?

Robert: Oh yes.

Jerry: And she never knew about it. Did she?

Robert: Didn't she?

Robert never comes out and says it. And thus, I don't think he actually has had an affair. He has betrayed her, and deeply so, but it wasn't by having an affair. It was by not putting his foot down when he found out, by not fighting for his marriage, by letting Emma flounder in this affair rather than making it stop, by holding her back but not holding her close. So, since everything else in his life regarding Emma was a fiction, he will let her have that fiction. Let her think that he turned around and did it to her, too, so that she can move on with her life. What's one more betrayal? In the entire play, Robert is completely honest, but nothing he says is ever what he truly means.

This led to the only real conflict I had with the director regarding Robert's character. In Scene 4 where Jerry is over for a drink and Robert launches into his monologue about squash, the director wanted me to direct that at Emma. After all, it is instigated by Emma's request to watch the two play and all the direct words seem to be a berating of Emma for daring to suggest such a thing:

Robert: Well, to be brutally honest, we wouldn't actually want a woman around, would we, Jerry? I mean a game of squash isn't simply a game of squash, it's rather more than that. You see, first there's the game. And then there's the shower. And then there's the pint. And then there's the lunch. After all, you've been at it. You've had your battle. What you want is your pint and your lunch. You really don't want a woman buying you lunch. You don't actually want a woman within a mile of the place, any of the places, really. You don't want her in the squash court, you don't want her in the shower, or the pub, or the restaurant. You see, at lunch you want to talk about squash, or cricket, or books, or even women, with your friend, and be able to warm to your theme without fear of improper interruption. That's what it's all about. What do you think, Jerry?

On the surface, that's a pretty damning thing to say to Emma, but the script has Robert and Emma sharing a kiss just a few moments later. If Robert is truly revealing his disgust for Emma in particular or women in general in this speech, then what on earth could possibly motivate him to try to become intimate with Emma just a dozen or so lines later? After seeing Jerry out, he would just go straight to bed. And just as importantly, why would Emma kiss him back? If she bore the brunt of that oration, why would she allow Robert to come near her?

True, the kiss doesn't go anywhere: She is crying because she realizes that she is alone now. The affair with Jerry is over except for the packing up and there is no way she can patch things up with Robert for she doesn't love him anymore.

Instead, that speech has to be directed at Jerry. It is Robert's way of telling Jerry to get away from his wife. It is not direct for Robert is never that obvious. Squash is a metaphor for friendship and to have a woman come between them would ruin it. Robert is not berating Emma for wanting to be part of the game but rather he is having at Jerry for having the gall to bring a third party into their friendship.

Now, Robert isn't a nice person. I certainly don't think he could ever be portrayed as the innocent party. His inability to directly articulate his feelings leads him to betray both his wife and his friend. Despite having the power to do something about their situation either by fighting for his wife or letting her go, he avoids all responsibility and lets them drown. Certainly the primary failure is the affiar between Emma and Jerry, but Robert does nothing to resolve the situation.

That is the reason for why Robert doesn't say anything: He doesn't know how. His passion is poetry where everything is told in metaphor, words have meanings stacked upon other meanings. A direct statement of, "I love you," or, "Stop screwing my wife," is the world of prose which he cannot stand. He doesn't know how to say anything directly and thus his only way of surviving is to be swept along in the actions of others.

It's All in the Timing

So, a first post. Time for the background. I'm a white male, living in San Diego, who has a day job as a tech support/business analyst and spends his evenings as an actor. I'm currently in a production of City of Angels at Patio Playhouse playing Stine. I just went through awards season where I was nominated for most everything I did last season but didn't win anything except for Cast Ensemble for a production of Betrayal I did for POWPac.

I have a BS in Applied Mathematics and an MFA in Musical Theatre. Coming up is an audition for Sherlock Holmes' Excellent Adventure at the Coronado Playhouse. The problem is that work is sending me out of town to conduct a training, leaving on the day of callbacks. The director saw me in Lend Me ashen and asked me to come to auditions, so I really ought to go. Hope that my first audition will be enough to be considered.